Let’s get this straight. There are lots of good drivers out there. There are even lots of really good drivers out there. But today we’re in search of that special ingredient that’s only common in the greats. In french, they have the perfect saying to encapsulate this. “Je ne sais quoi”. A quality that can’t be named easily. That seems to be the difference between good and great. We’re looking for the qualities of the wonderful, marvellous, remarkable, and the extraordinary. The unsung heroes and the real MVP’s. Here’s What Makes A Great Bus Driver.
Where Do We Start?
In typical Backstage Culture fashion, I think it starts with 5 categories, each rating 1-10 and leaving a final score out of 50. All categories being rated equal in this instance. The scale being over 80% is good. Over 90% is really good. Over 95% is considered GREAT.
***Just to be clear, our drivers are humans. So lets not get too crazy with rating people. This is score to help us decide if our driver qualifies as a “great” driver or not. This is not trying to make fun of someone, nor is it an opportunity to talk shit about how terrible someone is. Think of this like the Grammys of bus drivers and only you get to decide whose nominated.
Obviously this is all subjective since my idea of great might not be your idea of great. That being said, I’ve had a lot of drivers over the years. Here are the categories that stand out to me, in no particular order.
Categories
1. Cleanliness
This is pretty simple. Do they keep the bus clean? Am I’m not talking about cleaning up all your bullshit and organizing your dirty laundry that has fallen into bunk alley. Does the driver have a daily to-do list that they accomplish every day, without waking everyone up? Do they change the garbage and throw the full bag in a field somewhere, or make sure it gets into an appropriate dumpster? Does the toilet stink so bad that it wakes up the entirety of bus alley when someone flushes the toilet in the middle of the night?
Or do they keep the bus spotless, smelling decent, and properly stocked with necessities?
Example Of A Great Driver
I had a driver one time that would wash the floors by hand every morning because “A mop doesn’t do as good of a job or include the kicker plates on the front of the drawers.” Now we’re talking.
2. Situational Awareness
This a big one. This is the toughest because it’s not just for drivers, but an actual key to success in life. The great drivers know when it’s time to talk, when it’s time to keep it low profile, and when it’s time to get riled up. This goes for more than just on the bus too. This is included in catering, runner vans, hotel lobbies, or anywhere else that might reflect back on the tour.
This category should probably be weighted a little more than the others.
Their lifestyle is difficult. They’re always on the opposite schedule of everyone they’re dealing with. When they’ve been driving for 8 hours and need to get up and burn some energy, but everyone is just waking up, the great drivers will have situational awareness and act accordingly.
Example Of A Great Driver
I had a driver that was recently retired from the Navy. After living on a ship with a ton of people for years on end, he fully understood the dynamics and how to weave between them. I never saw him, barely heard from him, but he was somehow always right there when I need anything. There could be absolute chaos going on around him, and he remained unaffected.
3. Flexibility
No, I’m not saying you need a driver that can do yoga. I’m saying that the great drivers understand that all plans include variables. Sometimes we’re gonna need to get creative with the driver’s log book. Those are exact parameters that need to be played within. The great drivers already have multiple backup plans with alternate routes and stops.
Sometimes we’ll need to make a quick stop somewhere. Whether it’s the hotel or somewhere in the middle of the night along the way. The great drivers assess if it’s problematic or not, then within reason, just get it done. Before you get all riled up, I’m not asking a driver to pull a bus up to the bar and wait for an hour out front so someone can squeeze in a couple more songs at karaoke.
Example Of A Great Driver
The great drivers are always the ones that say “It’s your bus, you tell me what you need to do and that’s what we’re doing”.
4. A G Behind The Wheel
You can have the best personality in the world, but if it takes you 10 tries to back down an alley in the middle of the night and it wakes everyone up, you’ll just remain in the “good” category.
Example Of A Great Driver
I have a touring friend that used to talk about a driver that didn’t use the break in traffic. That he would slowly ease on and off the gas to never stop moving. If you ask me, it’s just an Urban Legend, and this driver does not exist.
Another Example Of A Great Driver
I had a driver one time… who had to back down across a set of train tracks, then make a hard corner, then down an alleyway towards the dock. All backing up, of coarse. Naturally, I got off the bus. I used it as an excuse to help back him down, although he didn’t need it. A train started coming and tensions started getting higher. Unfazed, this absolute G of a driver backed down, smoothly, in his first attempt.
I asked some guys on the bus after “That was crazy, was the driver shitting his pants?” our monitor engineer replied matter of fact, “No, he was on the phone”. What a G.
5. Technical Ability
Unfortunately, the bus will breakdown eventually. The great drivers have diesel mechanic experience and are able to get you back up and running as fast as possible. Although, technical ability means more than knowing how to fix the bus during a breakdown. This involves the wiring and circuitry on the bus that will leave your bunks without power, or understanding the zones and ever-funky routing of the thermostats, or even how to get the satellite TV working every day. The great drivers are swiss army knives in human form.
If the driver doesn’t have technical ability, I’ll trade it for the unique ability to understand when you need to pull the chute and book some cars and flights instead.
Example Of A Great Driver
We broke down in the middle of the night one time. Something relatively basic that we didn’t need to order extra parts for. The next morning in catering the driver apologized for the fuck around in the middle of the night. I had no idea cuz I slept through it. He didn’t wake anyone up, fixed it, and got us back on schedule. Great.
Bonus Round
Reliability
This is the most basic characteristic of the good drivers. Buttttt… Extra points are available for the extremely reliable drivers. The ones you don’t have to worry about. The ones that just get it done. This category gets an extra 5x bonus points.
Summary
The number one complaint I get as a TM at the beginning of the tour is either about the driver or the bus. If you get someone good, that’s awesome. Someone really good, hell yea. If you are lucky enough to get one of the greats, sink your nails into them and try to get them on every one of your tours.
So… There it is. Like I say, Lots of good drivers out there, but this is (in my opinion) what makes a great bus driver.
Unfortunately, you need to be in the weeds on some of these situations to find out if the driver is truly great or not. I’ve had some really good drivers that are great until things start going wrong.
Know of a driver that’s legendary, exceptional, or miraculous? Send this to them and tell them thank you and happy holidays.
See you out there, travel safe.
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